'What wisdom, what knowledge' I thought watching as the Comet passed overhead. I sat on the balcony just as astounded as the person next to me. I would never experience this again in my life, but I still failed to believe it. It hovered out of sight and I put my lips to her neck as we walked into the house. The last of the night was a blur. Vodka, tits, the sounds of humans.
Driving home the next morning it hit me and on a township road outside of the city, I had to pull over. I stepped out from the truck and hurled the previous night into the ditch. I didn't give a fuck who passed, I sat in that ditch for at least half an hour reflecting. This is what mattered.
That comet was nothing- trickery. Who gives a fuck if we don't see it again, yet I was so astounded. Surely it was just a punchline. I laughed to myself and then realized I was only laughing AT myself. What a fool.
Moving through the endless night, it was aimless just like me. It wasn't smart, it was just matter. Fucking science my friend and I was no different. It burned just like me. An infinite struggle making art of its pity and self loathing. Light another cigarette son, you better enjoy it.
Sunday 24 April 2011
Friday 1 April 2011
"Do you regard me as a puzzle?" She suggested, drifting towards the darkened corner of the room. I didn't answer her, rolling to the other side of the bed I dozed off.
I knew she was right, but for a while I ignored her proposition. I had dreams of pulling her apart, re arranging the pieces. She didn't enjoy cigarettes anymore. In fact she hated breakfast cereal too, to the extent that she couldn't discuss the changes made to the design of the boxes in the cupboard.
Today more than any other I wanted to discard of the piece she incorporated yesterday. it resided long enough. I hadn't once felt it appropriate to the general landscape in the developing picture. What really bothered me was, the piece which I had wished to integrate, never seemed to fit. I couldn't force it, and believe me I tried, for it would fall as a focal point of scrutiny.
The picture on the box always proved me wrong. Her comment flashed in my ears. I awoke within a dream, at which point I followed her into the corner and ripped the portrait apart piece by piece. Frantically I worked at it but as they fell the pieces disappeared! If I couldn't do it nobody could.
I awoke slowly making my way downstairs to the kitchen. There she sat in the sunlight, cigarette lit, coffee mug in hand. "Honey did they change the rabbit on the box?"
I knew she was right, but for a while I ignored her proposition. I had dreams of pulling her apart, re arranging the pieces. She didn't enjoy cigarettes anymore. In fact she hated breakfast cereal too, to the extent that she couldn't discuss the changes made to the design of the boxes in the cupboard.
Today more than any other I wanted to discard of the piece she incorporated yesterday. it resided long enough. I hadn't once felt it appropriate to the general landscape in the developing picture. What really bothered me was, the piece which I had wished to integrate, never seemed to fit. I couldn't force it, and believe me I tried, for it would fall as a focal point of scrutiny.
The picture on the box always proved me wrong. Her comment flashed in my ears. I awoke within a dream, at which point I followed her into the corner and ripped the portrait apart piece by piece. Frantically I worked at it but as they fell the pieces disappeared! If I couldn't do it nobody could.
I awoke slowly making my way downstairs to the kitchen. There she sat in the sunlight, cigarette lit, coffee mug in hand. "Honey did they change the rabbit on the box?"
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